its 432 and i'm awake. and i'm in college. its been over a year since my last entry.

so... i'm writing in my xanga for the first time in a long time... its kinda lame but right now i'm bored as hell..and everyone i know has early classes. unlike myself. a lot has happened since my last entries on xanga, but i think i may start writing in it again. just cause live journal is boring me and i'm having more time on my hands. i miss rhys, my amazing boyfriend... i love him so much. and today is our 11 months. but i wont see him until tomorrow. i'm exhausted but i can't sleep... my throat hurts and  i just got my 8th piercing the other day. that's my update for now... peeacceee

oh, and i'm over that whole casey thing. and have been.. for well over a year. WELL over a year.

yeah. that's right. i'm doin an entry on how aggravated i am. i scare myself sometimes. i just wish i didn't constantly feel the need to compete with people. but then i realize its just how i am. being a twin will do that to you sometimes. you always feel like you'er being compared to someone. and when you're down a point, you gotta make that three pointer to prove ur worth.

i don't really care about my worth anymore...am i making sense?

i want highschool to go away. i say that and then i realize what causes all the drama in my life isn't part of highschool. and it very well may still be around after highschool. and that's what scares me. cause i'm fairly positive i'm not goin anywhere after i graduate. and then, then is when the more drama begins. bigger drama. drama isn't even a good enough word. like... horrific .... i dunno. just sorta rambling now. i would appreciate being appreciated. is that too hard? COULD SOMEONE JUST SAY THANK YOU FOR ONCE IN THEIR LIVES. but then again, i do feel sorry for some people for being too dense to figure out how much i care and how much i have to put up with for them .

meh, not anymore. if we see each other. we see each other. if i'm there when the phones rings, i talk. if he's online, we'll chat. no more of this " hi, my name is kelly stone and i'm gonna go the distance and risk losing my oversized arse, just to keep this emotionally controlled relationship alive." yes. thats done.

in the words of bob the tomato, " i'm bob. i'm a tomato and i'm here to help you"

profound. i know.

my life is so predictable and lame and stupid its amusing. i'm choosing to laugh it it.

hahahaha...

perfect by nature
icons of self indulgence
just what we all need
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be
have you no shame don't you see me
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now
i know who you are
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be
you're not real and you can't save me
somehow now you're everybody's fool

i've screwed myself over again. why?

i wanna pass algebra so bad. soooooooo bad. only 9 more days of school people. only nine more stinkin lousy days. nine's a fairly large number, however.

just had an interview at forever 21, we'll see how it works out. i really want the job so i can just be done with worrying about getting a job before i go to belize. dicounted clothing too people! and no, if you aren't nice to me i won't get you any discounts. however......

sigh* why are things always better in the winter.

decembers are always when things are amazing. may is when things suck. (im gonna make this a poem) december isn't for grazing, but may is just for ducks. ok... fail at poetry too... lol.

when will i find my "gift" mother? hmmmm?

well doesnt feel like i've updated in a while cause i've sorta been cheating with poems and lyrics and whatnot. this past week was ok until today at 2:00. why? you ask. well i'm not gonna say cause i  don't feel like talking about it anymore. its just bad ok? trust me. you can, ya kno. me and kath went and picked up apps to a few places in the mall... i'm never working with food again. exchanged the other shoes that i just got for some new ones...

.

they're a lot cuter with the white laces. and i got a new keychain with it that said i love skate boarding. cause i do : ) hahaha

i'm such a silly poser. speaking of being silly, i'm in the WEIRDEST moods lately. yesterday it was sooooo hot and plans didn't work out so i ended up trying to walk to the ponds in burke where eliza picked me up and saved me at where roberts meets commons. it was all confusing and lethally hot. i miss being able to drive to school : ( well ... i'm obsessed with unwritten law in a very unhealthy way so i think i'll digress. ( KC Landersman*) oh yes. lol I LOVE HIm!

well, toodloo all. too-duh-loo.

~mee